A letter to music…

Today I went to that’s entertainment and filled my arms with all those cd’s I only ever wanted 1 song off and didn't want to pay full price for. And it was when I was listening to one of these songs that I thought wow this takes me back. Then I thought to what? There was no specific memory; it just made me think of being a teenager and thinking how awesome a song was. While my life was rubbish I found happiness in music.

My teenage years were mostly awful. I hated school and hated myself more, but the one thing I loved was my music, I taught myself guitar and started writing songs, getting all my feelings out on paper and making something good out of bad things was such a release.

I’d get really down and just want to go to sleep forever but then I’d put on a certain couple of albums and just hearing someone else describe how I feel gave me the strength to go on.

This is the same now, if I’m sad, angry or happy I've got the perfect thing in my collection to justify my mood and either bring me out of it or sustain it.

Nothing can beat the feeling for me of getting a new cd and sitting listening while reading the lyrics, or being at a gig and singing the lyrics back of my favourite songs, or just putting on a classic and just letting it overtake my body and breathe for me.

Music is the thing that’s been most constant in my life and the thing I can rely upon and love so much. I know I wouldn't be here without it.

So yes this is weird but I just wanted to say thanks to music for being there and although no one knows what the future brings I know I’ll always have it. It helps me be.

Wrist Fusion Surgery - A Year On...

I've been meaning to do my 'a year on' update for a while now, apologies for the tardiness!

I can 100% say having this op was a fantastic decision, my life has completely changed, firstly and most importantly is pain, I'm pain free in my wrist now which is amazing! I can do more now than i could before the op because it doesn't hurt. The only time I've felt any pain since was when i went for a routine arthritis check up and she pressed it really hard, it made my eyes water slightly! 

The only thing that's a bit strange is if you want to pick something up off a flat surface, usually you just do things like that on auto pilot but i have to think about how I'm going to negotiate getting around the fact i cant bend my wrist anymore! but its very much something I'm willing to put up with. 

Movement wise i have almost full rotation back (turning my hand over and back) and full finger movements. I have a slight numbness still on my baby finger knuckle but that is just from where they cut though the little nerve endings, they said this could happen and I'm quite pleased its only a small patch.

Aesthetically my big scar is lovely, i have a circle scar from where the k-wire was in and another small scar from the drain, and although my hand looks a bit wonky only i notice it when I've been staring at it for a while! my arm and wrist area still haven't regained the muscle i lost while out of action so i have a skinny arm, although i am back to lifting flat pack furniture around at work!

This is the rod in in my wrist, you can also see where they cut the ulna head off.

 This is my wrist now

This is the before shot!